TAXES EDITION
11 April 2007
TAX APOCALYPSE APPROACHES
IMMINENT DAMNATION FOR PROCRASTINATORS
The nefarious "holiday" of Mid-April looms enormous before us as a calendar incarnation of Dante's Inferno, erupting thus: "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!"
This reporter takes solace in the fact that his massive gambling defeats allowed him to take a loss on FY2006, making his tax returns largely simple. However, those of you fortunate enough to have financial assets are more than likely buried in enough complex paperwork that would cause Messrs. H. Block and R. Block to turn crimson. This reporter feels your pain, and would like to offer assistance.
The StockCentral Community is bloated with knowledge when it comes to your taxes, particularly for those readers who count themselves as members of investment clubs. Be sure to look back on Tax Genius Ira Smilovitz's Year-End Treasurer's Workshop for tips and advice on completing your club's taxes.
(If you still need to purchase Tax Printer software, there's still time! Visit the ICLUB Store today -- and don't forget to use your StockCentral discount!)
Another insider tidbit that, hopefully, has become common knowledge, although you never know these days: in its infinite wisdom, the Internal Revenue Service has declared that your Federal taxes will not be due on the traditional date of April 15, but rather two days hence on the 17. The 15th is, of course, a Sunday and the 16th is Emancipation Day in Washington DC, as well as Patriot's Day in the Ancient & Venerable Commonwealth of Massachusetts.
(This reporter will of course be running the Boston Marathon that day. And by "running the Boston Marathon," he means, "frequenting as many Back Bay alehouses as possible before noon." The necessary endurance and intestinal fortitude for both events is equal.)
So, we all of us get two extra days. Good news, eh? Well, like with all governmental decrees, it's not that simple. The IRS mandate only applies to Federal returns. The schedule for State returns has been left to the discretion of the individual State agencies, and not all states have complied with the IRS's scheduling change. Your individual and investment club filings for your State may still be due on April 15.
But fear not, dear readers, as the StockCentral Community is again at your service.Visit Doug Gerlach's thread in The Clubhouse for more information on the IRS obfuscation, including a list of amended State tax schedules. Further inquisition can be conducted at the IRS homepage.
PROPOSED ADDENDUM TO THE D.C. LICENSE PLATE
"Taxation WITH representation ain't so hot, either."
- GERALD BARZAN
Infernal Revenue Service;
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