SALARY CAP SOUR NOTE FOR BAILOUT EXECS
CUTBACKS EXPECTED ON TRASH RECEPTICLES, CHOCOLATE
What is this that your diligent, infatigable reporter overheard? That President Barack Obama dared impose a $500,000 pay cap on some senior executives whose firms receive government financial rescue money? This reporter may not know a lot about how the "other half" lives, but, upon hearing the news, she stopped dead in her tracks to ponder a single question: Just how on God's lovely earth does our new president expect these execs to live on such a paltry sum? Surely they will have no choice but to cut back on life's bare necessities, such as $1,400 waste baskets.
Alas, drastic times do indeed call for drastic measures. Though this reporter finds her own salary -- also capped at a most draconian figure of $500,000 in light of current economic times -- a bit confining, she is happy to report that she is making progress toward living on love and chocolate alone. She has decided to follow the advice of the most astute Lucy Van Pelt of Peanuts Comic Strip fame, who once wisely declared, "All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." On that note, your reporter hopes that the executives' significant others -- as well as her own -- won't be distressed to find that St. Valentine brought them Brach's this year in lieu of Godiva.
On to today's headlines...
TOOLKIT 6 HAILED BY AAII
SOFTWARE NOTED FOR WEALTH OF DATA, CUSTOMIZATION
In a recent edition of Computerized Investing, the American Association of Individual Investors (AAII) featured none other than the crown jewel of stock selection software, AKA Toolkit 6. A divine tidbit from this most prestigious of publications:
"Toolkit offers a suite of stock analysis tools and reports. The latest version adds increased customization and charting abilities and cleaner navigation... You can create a portfolio and update price data automatically, print performance reports and set up alerts. Graphs can be customized, saved and printed."
Don't be tempted to keep word of this most incredible of brainchilds under wraps. Instead, be known as the one who so generously spread the word about the new and enlightened version of the Toolkit 6 software and StockCentral itself -- and get the recognition providing such valuable information deserves. Click on the Tell-A-Friend link in the upper right-hand corner of the StockCentral homepage. Fill out the form on the next page, and your cohorts will each receive a special email invitation to join StockCentral, addressed from you. It's the best Valentine you can send this year!
STOCKCENTRAL TOOL TAB INFILTRATED!
MEMBER CITES ONE-STOP SHOPPING FOR STOCK STUDIES
Stunning news from Harvard Square today, as a source deep inside the ICLUBcentral offices has indicated that one of our very own highly-regarded and until now, thought to be most trustworthy, members has infiltrated StockCentral, bending the will of the Tools tab to meet the needs of her individual stock studies. After pinky-swearing not to reveal her most clandestine of sources, this maverick StockCentral member unveiled one of the biggest secrets to her stock picking success to none other than your intrepid reporter.
"When I am ready to search out some new companies and do some stock studies, the first thing I do is open StockCentral, and go to the Tools tab," this reporter's most anonymous of sources revealed. "From there, I click on Take Stock, and select the link for this week's Complete Roster of Quality Companies. This immediately gives me a list by the Stock Screener of the top 125 or so companies in the whole data base of 8,470 companies that meet minimum quality standards.
Risking life and limb, this reporter's source went on to disclose, "If I want to narrow down that list even more, I can edit the screener to upgrade the quality from Acceptable to Desirable, perhaps eliminate the Micro or Mega companies from consideration, and this would leave me with about 40 companies to choose from. I can sort this list by Industry to focus my choice even more."
In an incredible act of what can be described as nothing less than unadulterated courage -- punishable by three days in the stockade --the source offered this final gold nugget of information: "From the screener, I can go back on any of those companies to TakeStock for an instant analysis with a suggested buy below price. From that page, I can click on Recent Company News by the Mood Indicator and go straight to a Google search of the latest company news stories. Then, since I prefer to use my own judgment if I am satisfied with what I have already seen, I can click on SSG and open it right into my Toolkit program."
THIS JUST IN!
ICLUB RELEASES ALL 2008 FEDERAL AND STATE TAX PRINTERS
If you find Cupid's arrows zipping by or perhaps striking you right in say, the heart of matters, then spring - and Tax Season - cannot be far behind. In a major announcement witnessed by only the most elite of press corps, including your very own Gazette reporter, ICLUB Prez Doug Gerlach disclosed that the status of all Federal Forms is final, as are State Forms for the following territories: AZ, CA, CO, GA, IA, IN, MA, MD, MN, MO, NJ, NY, PA, WI.
It never pays to dilly dally when it comes to Uncle Sam and his money. Get your investment club ready for Tax Season early by ordering your Federal and State Club Tax Printers from ICLUBcentral - known in cocktail party conversations that span the globe as the #1 tax preparation software for investment clubs.
This year, even ICLUB Prez Gerlach's heart has been softened by the melee that started in the financial industry and spread far and wide. Coming to the aid of long-term, fundamental investors everywhere, he is generously extending deeply discounted prices on all 2008 Tax Printers. Order now and you will pay just $89.99. StockCentral members save even more, and pay just $59.99.
What could be better than such a rock-bottom price? How about free? If five members of your club subscribe to StockCentral.com, you will not only most certainly be launched to hero status among your cohorts, but you will receive your Federal Club Tax Printer absolutely FREE! Sign up ten or more members, and you'll receive both the Federal and the State Club Tax Printers free! Download the offer form for more information, and join StockCentral today!
TODAY'S ENTIRELY RELEVANT QUOTATION
"Love is the only gold."
-ALFRED LORD TENNYSON