NEW FEBRUARY WORKSHOPS ANNOUNCED

MSSRS. TRAUB & GERLACH TO PONTIFICATE

As the wintery doldrums of St. Valentine envelope the countryside, even the most despondent investing wayfarer can find sanctuary at StockCentral. Two new workshops are planned for February, each sure to warm the cockles (or even the sub-cockles) of your heart.

Starting February 5, Msr. Ellis Traub (the mind behind such popular software titles as Investor's Toolkit) will conduct a week-long expo on Take Stock, the Instant Stock Analysis™ tool he originally developed for Investware. Special attention will be paid to StockCentral Take Stock, the evolutionary successor to the desktop version that has rapidly become the most popular feature at StockCentral.

Not to be outdone, underdone, or even overdone is ICLUBcentral President Doug Gerlach. Msr. Gerlach will unveil his highly-secretive "Build a Better Portfolio in 10 Days" dissertation on February 19. Details are scarce at this point, but word has it that Msr. Gerlach's focus will be on how to improve one's investment catalogue over some indeterminate time period.

Both events will take place in The Classroom.

TAKE MORE STOCK

TAKE STOCK EMBIGGENS DATABASE

Improving one's station in life is a worthwhile endeavor (this reporter need only ask the missus, who constantly questions where he'd be without her), but it is rarely an nominal venture. The hurdles of sense, sensibility, pride, and prejudice (not to mention various persons named "Emma") constantly bar the path to self-improvement.

However, Take Stock has accomplished this most rarefied goal, even without so much as marrying into aristocracy. The StockCentral Team has updated and increased the Take Stock database, adding thousands of new stocks and accompanying data for search. Boasting data on well over 9,000 publicly-held U.S. companies and tighter integration with the Company Reports under the Data tab, Take Stock continues to live up to its distinction as the most popular StockCentral destination.

Any error messages or requests for more ticker symbols should be posted in The Infirmary.

TAXES, TAXES, TAXES

WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM US?

In this harrowing season of bulbous blood-thirsty tax collectors roaming from village to dale, even the slightest amount of good tidings is a reason to celebrate.

The IRS, in its infinite wisdom, has mercifully extended the deadline for filing your taxes by two days to April 17, 2007. Apparently, the usual deadline of April 15 falls on a Sunday this year, a traditional day of rest. April 16 of course is Emancipation Day, commemorating 1862 signing of the Emancipation Act, and is a holiday in the IRS's home prefecture of Washington, DC.

Interestingly, April 16 is also Patriots' Day in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, which is home to a major IRS distribution hub (as well as this reporter's humble domicile) and would subsequently be closed for the day. For the uninitiated, Patriots' Day is when all good god-fearing Massachusetts citizens celebrate the legendary Boston Tea Party by watching insane rogues dressed in microfiber run the Boston Marathon.

But what does all of this mean for concerned investors like yourself in the StockCentral Community? Well, your Federal returns (including any investment clubs) are now due on April 17. However, not all 50 states have decided to dance to the IRS's tune -- your individual and investment club filings for your state may still be due on April 15.

A listing of states and their amended (or not) tax policies is available in The Clubhouse. Please feel free to post any reactions or further information on the subject you can find.

"Colonel Korn was the lawyer, and if Colonel Korn assured him that fraud, extortion, currency manipulation, embezzlement, income tax evasion, and black-market speculations were legal, Colonel Cathcart was in no position to disagree with him."

- CATCH-22, by Joseph Heller (pg. 211)

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